Category: Writers Block
No one here when I come home at night
No one to hug me and hold me tight
No one share all their worries and woes
No one to say, “C’mere and I’ll paint your toes.”
No one to wake me when I have a bad dream
No one to make me laugh when I’d really rather scream
No one to love me and keep me from harm
No one to snuggle with when I can’t get warm
No one to tell all my visions and dreams
No one to share a bowl of ice cream
No one to tell me “Here, I’ll do that.”
No one to worry that I might hurt my back
No one to love me the way I need it most
No one here but my True Love’s ghost
No one to cook for now that he’s gone
No one to “do for”... I’m all alone
No one to tell me how pretty I am
No one to be silly with or act like a ham
No one to reel me in when I come too close to the edge
No one to help me move forward when I start to hedge
No one to hold my hand and look at me that way
No one to say, “I love you more with each passing day.”
No one to help me to like myself
No one to help to like himself
No one to walk with in the cool dusky air
No one to offer to brush my hair
No one to wrench with, go to swap meets and shows
No one to be impressed by how much this gearhead gal knows
No one to finish the projects we started
No one to tease with the question, “Who farted?”
No one to tell “I love you so much.”
No one to smile and make my heart rush
No one here but me and my True Love’s ghost
No one to tell me, “I love YOU most.”
No one to know my moods and help me be my best
No one to love me, warts and all the rest
No one to listen when I need HIS ear
No one to cling to when I feel fear
No one who knows me inside and out
No one to help me figure life out
No one for me to look good for
No one to impress
No one to strive to look good for me
No one to ask me how they should dress
No one to whisper in my ear
No one to laugh and tease me by saying, “Yes, dear.”
No one to tell me all their fears and dreams
No one to make me go weak in the knees
No one to watch sunsets with or look for rainbows
No one to help me wash the high windows
No one to let me be me, in good times and bad
No one to calm me when I get too mad
No one to finish this life with... God is not fair
No one help me with this despair
No one to love me straightforward and true
No one for me in this life
No one but you
That's a very sad, poem. It sounds like you miss a lot, and that's so very sad. I hope you're okay.
as a poem it is good, though I wonder if you could take out maybe the last one or two stanzas before the final onem which was a good one. It is almost just a bit much. Of course they are your feelings, so I feel bad saying that. As or the writing, and structure they are good. My only suggestion is read it out loud to yourself. To me it seemed like a couple lines went on a bit too long, thus disrupting the flow. See if you agree if you like, if not, it was still a good poem. Good stuff.
Guardian
Aww I like it. So sad...
I do agree that I might need to rework it a bit. Thanks for your concern, but I'm doing okay. I wrote this last year when the doctors told me there was nothing else they could do, no more options to continue dialysis, meaning I only had days left. I wrote this for my family and friends and the anger and loss I felt at knowing what was to come. I was in the hospital when I got the message there was a possible match, but even then it was ify since I was third on the list for that organ. I got really lucky!
Thanks to all.
Chastity
Wow, no kidding! That's excellent.